An Aesthetically Pleasing Collection of Stuff


It took me exactly five tries to be able to let you go 
without leaking regret all over your work shirt
and even then i’m sure you were able to hear my bones trembling
in the space of those silences 

that was how well you could read me 
not like a children’s book at all but like I 
Was a theory to settle the universe
and you were the only scientist to speak that code

So when you began to pull away, I knew 
that falling out of love would not be the same
as falling in and even ‘fall’ was not the right word
I hurtled into you with the ferocity of a broken wing on a jet engine 

you were the soft earth beneath all that metal
we fit like a collision and when we began to scrape apart
I found that pieces of myself were left inside of you
shrapnel, a bone of my elbow, the cap of my knee, my shoulder blade

there is something gently calming in the way I know
that it will take you years to methodically extract me 
from your body, and that twinge you’ll get sometimes in your leg twenty years later?
it’s the fallout from where I met you head on 

and I know it’s not your fault that you couldn’t stay
t’s not mine either sometimes
broken things can’t be helped but those people who say that
there is beauty in destruction?

Show them your scars 
show them our train wreck of a love
there is nothing beautiful
about how two people can destroy
and save each other at the same time. 

Azra. T “there’s no beauty in the breakdown”

"The meaning of life is that it stops."